When people ask how you’re doing at the end of the semester
i laughed way too hard at this
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE
but not as embarrassing as getting mistaken for a trashcan
i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now
introducing people to your online friends
i cant fucking believe myself
ya but have u ever seen brown eyes when they’re in the sun??? they literally turn gold like screw those ass blue and green motherfuckers gettin all the love
excuse you, my eyes are blue and in the sun they get a steely gray glint just around the pupil and they look pretty damn awesome.
There needs to be a button that unlikes all of the facebook pages I liked two years ago at once
THIS ISN’T FUN AT ALL
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.